Biden's Blockbuster - The Auto-Pen Chronicles

This information is also available on my YouTube Channel at: https://youtu.be/iO_G31A0g3I

If you prefer, you can also listen to this information on my Podcast at: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/norbert-gostischa/episodes/Bidens-Blockbuster---The-Auto-Pen-Chronicles-e36b84o 

Washington, D.C., July 31, 2025 — In a move that’s left literary critics and conspiracy theorists equally baffled, former President Joe Biden has announced his upcoming memoir, Sniffing the Winds of Change - A Life in Politics, will be entirely authored by his trusty auto-pen, affectionately nicknamed “Scribble Joe.” The groundbreaking decision has sparked heated debate: is this a bold leap into the future of publishing or a sign that Biden’s love for automation has gone too far?

The auto-pen, a mechanical marvel typically used to sign documents with eerie precision, has reportedly been upgraded with AI capabilities to churn out 500 pages of “heartfelt anecdotes, folksy wisdom, and ice cream metaphors.” Sources close to the project claim the device was trained on Biden’s speeches, off-the-cuff gaffes, and a hefty dose of Delaware diner lingo. “It’s like Joe’s brain, but with better handwriting and fewer tangents about Amtrak,” quipped an anonymous aide.

Literary agent Marla Quill described the project as “revolutionary, yet deeply unsettling.” She noted, “The auto-pen captures Joe’s essence perfectly—long-winded stories about his Scranton roots, random references to ‘malarkey,’ and a chapter inexplicably dedicated to aviator sunglasses. But there’s something uncanny about a book written by a machine that doesn’t need a nap at 3 p.m.”

The book’s first draft, leaked to the press, opens with the line: “Folks, lemme tell ya, governing is like eating a double-scoop cone—ya gotta lick fast or it’s all over your tie.” It then meanders through Biden’s 50-year career, with entire chapters generated from recycled campaign trail zingers and what appears to be a 10-page ode to cornbread. Critics have praised the auto-pen’s ability to mimic Biden’s cadence but questioned its tendency to insert “C’mon, man!” every three paragraphs.

Republicans have seized on the auto-pen authorship as evidence of Biden’s detachment from reality. “He’s outsourcing his legacy to a robot that signs birthday cards for interns!” tweeted a prominent senator. Meanwhile, progressive commentators argue it’s a fitting metaphor for Biden’s presidency - “He was always more of a signature than a substance guy.”

Publishing insiders predict Sniffing the Winds of Change will dominate bestseller lists, thanks to pre-orders from loyal Democrats and collectors of “weird political artifacts.” The audiobook, narrated by an AI-generated Biden voice, reportedly includes 17 minutes of simulated sniffing sounds, which early reviewers called “immersive, yet disturbing.”

As the literary world braces for the auto-pen’s magnum opus, one thing is clear - Biden’s memoir will be a testament to American ingenuity, technological hubris, and the enduring power of a good pen. Whether it’s a masterpiece or just mechanized malarkey, only time—and a few million autographed copies—will tell.

I hope you enjoyed this satirical look into the upcoming book by our former President cooked up by my prompt and Grok's story telling ability.

(AI was used to aid in the creation of this article.)

“Thanks for tuning in — now go hit that subscribe button and stay curious, my friends!👋”